RENEWING YOUR VOWS – REAFFIRMATION CEREMONY
A renewal of wedding
vows ceremony must be a meaningful, touching, revivifying, emotional and romantic ceremony for you and your children,
family and friends.
As a married couple, it is a time to pause and reflect on where you have been and where you are
It is also a wonderful example to set for your children and grandchildren.
Can you imagine a more beautiful scene than children watching their parents joining hands and hearts as they affirm the magnitude
and strength of their enduring love?
Just as with any wedding planning, you should begin by figuring
out what style of ceremony you'd like. Talk to Rev. Brits as he has presided over
dozens of ‘Vow renewal ceremonies’. Then decide on a budget, pick a date and find a venue that will be able to
host your ceremony.
Some couples who are older will have much more money than when they
got married the first time. The good news is that vow renewals are generally cheaper than first weddings, and with less rules
on what "should" be done, you can really concentrate on the elements that are important to you.
Maybe you want to say again the words you said last week on the beach,
in front of all your nearest and dearest. Or reminding yourselves of what you promised all those years ago. This
is an opportunity for both of you to really think about how you feel about your relationship, if the last time you exchanged
vows was decades ago. Children, close relatives, and special friends can do readings, and you can have meaningful music playing,
just as you would at a wedding ceremony.
Sometimes children host a renewal of vows for their parents. You
can renew your vows in a house of worship, at home, on the beach, in a pretty garden or park, on a mountaintop, or on a cruise
- basically, anywhere that has sentimental meaning for both of you.
do we want to renew our vows?
kind of budget can we afford for a vow renewal?
do we want to have our vow renewal: home or away?
should officiate at our vow renewal?
we want to write and recite our own vows?
do we want to invite to our vow renewal? Will we need invitations?
we plan on having our children participate?
we want to record our vow renewal in photographs and/or on video?
we want to re-use our wedding rings or have new ones made?
we want to exchange gifts to commemorate this day?
should we wear at our vow renewal?
we want particular music played at our vow renewal?
we have our vow renewal catered, or will cake and champagne suffice?
we want to include any special friends or memories from our wedding in our vow renewal?
Should You Have a Reception?
Of course! The party can be any style, from a casual backyard braai to an intimate family dinner to a cocktail
party or dinner as large and complex as a traditional wedding reception.
· There can be dancing, a cake - the works.
You might bring along your original wedding album and the Wedding video for guests to take a trip down memory lane, as well
as family photos through the years of your marriage.
· At some point during the celebration, the
two of you can thank and/or toast family members and special friends for what they've contributed to your marriage over the
years. And you'll probably be toasted by many of them.
· Be sure to hire a photographer to capture
the event on film - in 20 more years, perhaps you'll renew your renewal!
· If you have children, give them a special
role in the ceremony.
· Don't walk down the aisle alone. Have your
children escort you, or, better yet, walk down the aisle together.
The setup can be any way you desire but the most romantic way is as follows:
The family and friends form a seating circle leaving a centre space of 3-4
meters for the couple. This inner circle or couples space is covered with rose
The ceremony is usually held as it starts to get dark.
Romantic candles are placed at various heights and on the floor in the couple’s space. (All other lights are turned off. Making the couple’s space even more dramatic and romantic. Soft music will play throughout the sermon.
Then when everyone is ready the couple’s favourite song will announce
the beginning of the sermon. The couple’s children and grand children will enter and take their seats inside the inner
circle. There after the couple, walking together, come in and take their seats on cushions in the couple’s space.
The Minister proceeds to welcome the friends and family and announce the
reason for this very special occasion. He will deliver a very short message and then ask the Children by name to give to the
parents one at a time (starting with the Father first) a rose.
Each child will give 3 roses (yellow, white and red) to each parent.
The Yellow rose is given first, that will symbolize:-
The Father’s / Mothers good qualities.
They will say a few words about the quality of the
rose is next and it symbolizes:-
The Father’s / Mothers parental task.
They will say a few words about their upbringing by
The last rose is the red rose and it symbolizes:-
Their love for their parents.
They will say a few words about their love towards
their Father / Mother.
Then the grand children get their turn. They will do the same.
The parents / the couple will then acknowledge each other’s participation
in the parental task by giving each rose he/she was given, to the other. The husband (first) will hand over all the yellow roses to his wife and compliment her on her support
in the upbringing and care of the children. She will then do the same.
Then all the white roses are given
and they will now acknowledge her/his importance in the family unity. The husband
always starts first.
Then last, the red roses. Here the couple thank each other for each child
and say a few words about each child.
Then all the roses are taken by the couple together, and placed in a jar.
The Minister then asks the couple questions on their vows and the extent
of their commitment to each other. Whereupon they answer: - I DO.
The couples then give each other (starting with the husband) three roses.
(Yellow, white and red)
- When they hand over
the yellow rose he/she will tell him/her what he/she has meant in his/her life since they married. (Normally a speech of 1 minute is allocated to each couple)
- Then the white rose
is given and the topic is “being my partner in good and difficult times”.
For this topic each couple talks to the other for 1 minute.
the red rose is given. And the topic is “how important you have been in this
journey so far”. Here they also have 1 minute to tell each other.
Then the Minister asks the Husband to say his Vows to his wife whereupon
she answers: - “I thank God for a husband like you who has not broken your Vows to me”.
The Minister then asks the Wife to say her Vows to her husband whereupon
he answers: - “I thank God for a wife like you who has not broken your Vows to me”.
The Minister then blesses the reaffirmation of their Vows and the bond of
He then asks the children to lead the couple to their table and asks the
Master of Ceremonies to take over.